Russell Wilson. I'll stop there.
But seriously if you're an Eagles fan you'll wish I did.
Two easy ways for the Philadelphia Eagles to win this Sunday.
1. Stop Russell Wilson.
2. Catch the football. Looks like this 🏈
Oh wait, and maybe throw in a run or twelve. Simple, right?
The Seahawks are landing in the Linc this Sunday to play the band of misfit toys known as the Philadelphia Eagles. The NFL even gave Philly a slight edge by moving the game back to the 1PM slot. That’s like middle of the night in Seattle right?
Too bad we can't rely on that alone because Seattle is GOOD this year (not great) but they are led by the truly remarkable already-crowned-by-many NFL MVP Russell Wilson. They find ways to win close games. While the Eagles find ways to let potential wins slip through their fingers (pun fully intended).
Russell Wilson is no Tom Brady. Which in the past would be a good thing for Philly. This year it isn’t. He’s better than Brady this season. Just like Brady, Wilson’s O-Line can be pressured and Wilson can be sacked (27 times this year). Difference is he doesn’t GAF! Pressured? He can run. And runs well. 265 rushing yards so far. Outside the pocket? 2nd best in the league (passer rating 108.7% OUTSIDE the pocket - what the WHAT?). This is by no means disrespecting the GOAT with his beautiful but terribly styled head of hair who will probably
still get yet ANOTHER Superbowl ring somehow. But Wilson threatens with creativity, rolling out either direction 🤦🏻♀️, finding new patience in letting options unfold or smiling while he’s running past you. And he’s tough.
The ‘Hawks have some other marginal players I suppose *might* be helping a bit. DK Metcalf is the definition of the word ‘beast’ (his shoulders are almost as big as mine... keep trying DK) and lugs all that muscle around quickly. Chris Carson is on all 4 of my fantasy football teams and is KILLING it. Tyler Lockett will probably be back this week. A fantastic WR lies within Josh Gordon and he’s going to get better with more experience on this offense. Clowney was a nightmare last week for the 49ers and has 2 TDs on the season. That’s more than EACH of Eagles starting WRs except for Nelson Agholor. Yes, THAT is Philly’s reality at the WR position.
The Eagles do have some things going for them. The run defense is realllllly good when they don’t miss critical tackles. The secondary is playing significantly better now that the starters have been back (#1 in YPG allowed and #1 in yds per play allowed - in the good way 👏 - in the last few weeks). Keep that up and turn some of the forced missed passes into interceptions/defensive scoring and we got a game, folks. The offense isn’t going to do it alone here. Wentz is still a great QB and our offensive line may be banged up but those playing can play really well.
Here are some things I personally think the Eagles can work on this week to improve their chances of beating Seattle (how is this line Eagles -2.5 btw?):
DEFENSE/SPECIAL TEAMS (Jim S these are very strategic so take notes):
Press FAST up the middle through the back-up center before Wilson gets comfy.
Arm stretches, calf raises, and box jumps for the D-Line. TIP THOSE PASSES!
Don’t try to beat Metcalf’s size or speed. Knock down every damn ball. He runs predictable routes so pay attention! Once it’s in his hands you’re screwed. Axe 🪓chops for Darby in conditioning this week. Also, try distracting Metcalf with dumbbells on the sidelines. I don’t think he can pass up a chance to do curls.
Chris Carson is susceptible to mishandling balls (I just giggled when I typed ‘mishandling balls’). Get him to fumble. Oh then pick it up and run it back for a TD please.
SECONDARY – you guys. My heart 🖤😁. I was skeptical. Let’s say even negative on you. I’m a bad person for doubting you and I am so proud of you. You're outstanding performance is providing Schwartz the opportunity to be more creative because he obviously feels confident in the positive progress (as he should!)
LINEBACKERS. ’Hawks love to execute play action and are good at it. Read the defensive line and react accordingly. Zone D does not work well against this team Just an FYI!
Whatever Mills is drinking (Bang! maybe?) - order cases of that for the team. He’s fired up and every play is a new play.
Lots of coconut water 🥥 for the defensive line. They need those electrolytes replenished since they’ll be running around after Wilson all day.
Scoring is everyone’s job now. It’s the Eagles reality. Extra cheese steaks for special teams and defense if they score a touchdown.
OFFENSE:
Hire extra people to throw footballs at every pass catcher every minute of the day. Constantly pelt them with balls wherever they go all day long. Out to dinner, using the bathroom, walking to their cars. Throw it just out of reach so if they miss the ball it hits their car. People should be appearing out of nowhere. They need to learn to catch balls that aren’t thrown perfectly. Not one good highlight catch has happened yet this season. HOLD ONTO THE DAMN FOOTBALL WHEN IT HITS YOUR HANDS.
Ertz/Goedert. Just do it. Often. Constantly. Seattle has one of the worst Ds against the TE position in the NFL. Look for them on every play, CW.
Dribble in some Wentz run plays. Hasn’t been done all year so it won’t be on film. They are susceptible up front. Wentz is good at running. Back to basics.
Lane is out. It sucks, move on. Halapoulivaati Vaitai is in. Lots of vowels there. Confuse the ‘Hawks defense with trying to pronounce his name. Keep flashing the back of your jersey at them HV! (or more likely Dillard and I’m not clever enough to make up anything about him).
RUN THE MOTHERF*N BALL! Or at least don’t abandon the run for half the game. #freesanders ‘nuff said.
Take the short easy chunk plays. 5 yards at a time to get down the field is better than a complicated play that doesn’t work. We KNOW you are a genius Dougie, stop trying to impress us already 🙄.
Let Wentz be Wentz. He’s a great QB and does well when he’s making calls on the fly, giving inspirational speeches, and just Wentz-ing. Yes, he’s missed some easy passes but he’s also watched perfectly placed footballs slip through TWO HANDS. Dude is feeling the pressure. Help him have fun and know you’re all behind him.
Uhhhh there’s this guy Philly recruited last year in the 2nd round that is virtually non-existent. From what I’ve seen on tape he actually catches tough balls thrown to him. Let's try that. I’d be super excited if the Seattle game was JJaw’s breakout.
Group hugs all week with Mack Collins, JJaw, and Wentz. Something is going on there. Make them do the "trust fall". But please catch each other better than the team catches footballs.
Fix the injuries. How did our players come out of a BYE in worse condition? CBD oil, ice baths, UV light therapy for bone healing, heat therapy, hyperbaric chambers, BFR training, stem cells, witch doctors, try it all (within league restrictions of course).
There ya go. Simple. Easy. It’s just football. Throw and catch a ball or run a ball several times downfield. Stop 250+ lb guys on the other side from doing the same thing. I still believe. Let’s go guys!
Philly Philly. We all we got, we all we need. No one likes us we don’t care.